2008 Playahata Awards

2008 Playahata Awards
http://playahata.com/hatablog/?page_id=3177

We normally begin our awards with a song that in some way represents us but is also pretty popular. Unfortunately this year we didn’t quite find that tune, and we just picked a verse of a song as our anthem, so without further delay let’s get into this year’s anthem and the 2008 Playahata.com awards. Please rise for the playing of “Can’t Win For Losing” by Little Brother. http://playahata.com/hatablog/?page_id=3177

Rap Album of the Year: Talib Kweli – Eardrum
We must admit some of the Playahata family has gone through it’s ups and downs with Talib Kweli. Some have always liked him others have gone from liking him to not being much of a fan, but still supporting his music out of our love for so-called “conscious rap, though most artist who would fall under that label hate such a classification. But whether you’ve soured or become less enamored with Kweli over time one has to admit that he hit the mark again with his latest album Eardrum. It has all the components of a dope album, tight lyricism, thought provoking content, dope beats but this time he even has solid hooks. Though Kweli may have already experienced his peak of commercial penetration, the albums when his profile has been the highest don’t seem to contain his best work. Regardless of BET/MTV spins, it seems that now Kweli is back to making dope music and to us that’s most important.

R&B Album of the Year: Alicia Keys - As I Am
We admit by the end of the year we usually have done a few more rap album reviews than R & B so maybe you heard a great R&B album we didn’t know about, but of all the R&B LPs we heard that dropped this year, Ms. Keys came the strongest. This may come as a surprise to some considering some soul or “Neo-soul” heavyweights dropped this year, such as Jill Scott and Angie Stone, but Keys has come a long way as an artist and she seems to just get better with age. What’s most impressive and promising about her growth is that despite her commercial success she does not continue to go directly to the well, and seems unafraid to take chances musically. She has great handlers and as she is, it seems the sky is the limit. We might be anti-pop at times but Keys is one of the few artist we feel no shame in saying we actually like.

Movie of the Year: The Great Debaters
When some of Playahatas read the email regarding this movie coming out it seemed like a hoax or possibly an exaggeration to some. It’s not that such a movie couldn’t come out but it seemed to have come out of nowhere, not to mention Denzel was still sucking in all the attention from his role in American Gangster. Now a few million dollars and a whole lot of inspiration later here The Great Debaters stands as our movie of the year. A product of Oprah Winfrey’s Harpo Films production company it’s a testament to what can happen when well heeled Black entertainers start pooling their dollars or at least using them for some good. Not to mention Debaters dug up a somewhat buried bit of history as it’s based on a true story. We admit the movie had some minor flaws, mainly the fact that is seemed to be trying too hard to be tear-jerker but overall it was a great film and a very important one to be made and seen particularly by Black and Brown children.

Runner Up: Sicko
Perhaps we should just reserve a movie of the year or runner up slot for Moore, each year he comes out with a movie. This year Michael Moore did it again with arguably his best documentary, Sicko, which put the American health care system on full blast. Sicko came as a bit of a surprise in that the movie wasn’t about what many presumed it would be, namely the millions of American without health insurance. In fact the movie was actually about the millions of Americans who DO have health insurance and the vile tactics insurance companies employ against their customers and against the creation of a health care system that truly works for everybody. Though the powers that be threw all kinds of roadblocks in his way the movie came out and did quite well at the box office. It’s a shame it couldn’t have come out closer to the election, Hillary Clinton must be breathing a sigh of relief.

Honorable Mention:

No Country for Old Men - I know Chigurh is a fictional character but he still scares me.

Knocked Up - Similar Cast, different storyline, same result - hilarious.
The Namesake - Indian themed, but by no means Bollywood.

Guilty Before Proven Innocent Award: Remi Martin
“Ok so first you said you were not in the car, then you said you were in the car but the gun went off by accident. Yeah, …..you know you phucked up right? Yeah you know it you know you phucked up” … or so goes Playahata’s cleaned up version of the Remi Martin interrogation. Sometimes I don’t know if rappers really start believing their songs or are so many of them this dumb. Worse than that is it seems the female rappers are as bad as the men as this now makes at least 3 prominent female rappers in recent memory that have either done, are doing, or it seems will be doing jail bids – and there aren’t very many prominent female rappers. She can get a good attorney but it seems Remi Ma better hope her trial gets postponed for eternity as we don’t see how she can beat this case when the victim is alive to testify against her. Add to that charges of witness tampering and the manure Remi is standing in just seems to get deeper. All this misfortune allegedly over about 2-3 thousand dollars, damn Remi we thought you rappers were all baaaallllllling (well actually we kind of knew better).

Runner up (Tie): Chris Stokes (B2K’s former manager)
Raz-B may have recanted but his older brother didn’t and we still “think his ass hurt” thanks to Mr. Stokes. It seems the long-standing suspicion of Mr. Stokes being a “short eyes” finally bubbled to the surface when former B2K member, “Raz-B’s”, taped phone confrontation with Stokes, the group’s former manager, over allegations Stokes molested group members and placed them in inappropriate sexual situations, was released into the land of Youtube. Stokes denied the allegations and tried to make the situation out as an extortion plot, but Raz-B’s recant seemed a lot less convincing than his initial accusations, and men, especially men claiming to be heterosexual admitting to being molested, much less falsely claiming they were, just isn’t very common. Besides we’ve always thought acts like B2K, IMX, Immature, etc were more than a little oversexed and homoerotic for child groups, and we have yet to figure out what Stokes was referring to when he said he didn’t “do that” anymore and had changed his life during the taped phone conversation.

Runner Up (Tie): T.I.
“No Bang, No Flash”. That might just be a recap of the execution of the rest of T.I.’s career if charges he tried to purchase numerous assault weapons, and even more damning, silencers, stick. It’s illegal for T.I. as a convicted felon to own such weapons but throw in the numbers, types, and the silencers and T.I.P. may be about to be sent up river for a really long time. With the movies, and other opportunities, seemingly coming left and right T.I. seemed to have the entertainment world in the palm of his hand, now he has to keep it there because he can’t leave his house.

Chevron Award (Most Overrated and/or Gassed up Artist): T-Pain
We almost don’t want to give this award to T-Pain. I mean if you will openly discuss the size of another man’s cock, and said man is not a porn star, but just another entertainer then clearly you don’t have much of an ego. So T-Pain is getting this award not as an artist that is gassed up but more as an artist who is completely overrated. T-Pain is to Roger Troutman what R.Kelly is to Aaron Hall, well maybe not quite but he is certainly guilty of taking another entertainer’s style or signature affect and running with it. I mean it doesn’t take much to have your vocals altered with a synthesizer so there doesn’t appear to be much at the core of T-Pain the artist talent-wise, but he sure has capitalized of his gimmick like few others. What can we say, the music business is a dirty game, you have to get it while you can and while it’s still warm.

Allen Iverson Award (Artist Trying the Hardest to Crossover): Jason Whitlock
You know him as Jason Whitlock, but some of us know him as the Boondock’s Uncle Ruckus. We’re not sure who he Is trying to please with his articles but his budding prowess at blaming the victim is almost certain to land him a regular spot on FOX news some time in the near future. If we have to sit through another 30 paragraphs of Whitlock’s misguided attempts to place “Hip-hop” at the core of all things evil we are going to puke right in the doorway of ESPN’s downtown office. It seems no matter what happens bad weather it be Michael Vick’s conviction, Sean Taylor’s murder, shoplifting at a 7-11, a Tsunami is Southeast Asia Whitlock is right there to blame “Hip-hop”. It’s a really tired play at this point made worse by the fact that you can see it a mile away and we already know what he is going to argue before he writes an article nowadays. Hey Jason, we have some VERY serious issues with rap music and it’s content but we know a stretch when we see one – as Dead Prez might say, “It’s Bigger Than Hip-Hop!”

Runner Up: Kim Kardashian
It seems she’s had more brothers inside of her than the Federal penitentiary. We haven’t fully figured out why socialite Kim Kardashian is famous or where she is trying to cross over too but she is clearly into Black men and lots of them, though if one had to ethnically classify her she would probably be considered Persian, (like Iranian or Afghani) although she could pass for White. She’s been linked to numerous Black celebrities, even the “B or C listers” like Ray-J with whom she shot a sex tape in 2007. She was last seen with Reggie Bush with her skirt hiked up, she’s considered horny and possibly dangerous, do not attempt to apprehend unless you’re a male Black entertainer, in which case it’s all good.

Most Likely to Succeed: Glen Ford of BlackAgendaReport.com
Its hard to believe that he was once a speech writer on the Republican side (Newt Gingrich). Now he and Bruce Dixon have built one of the most truthful, no holds barred websites for African American editorials and opinions. Updated weekly www.Blackagendareport.com simply tells the truth how they see it and are not in the business of sparing feelings. Facts, analysis and history have found a consistent home. Any time you tell the truth in spite of popular opinion you are going to be successful. Just remember the African Proverb “truth crushed to the earth rises up twice a strong as before”.

Least Likely to Succeed: Andrew Young, Charles Rangel and their ilk.
Andrew Young “may have” done good in the past but his human rights/civil rights legacy is questionable. He can say what he likes but it’s obvious nowadays that he is playing for media attention and future relevancy. His internal white-liberal-fascination meter leads him to say “Africans must accept neo-colonialism” in 2007! His desire to control a subjugated populace for a colonial leadership wont allow him any more success in a new day and era even among his comrades. Career politicians like Rangel and Young have tried to train others to do things their way and be lead by them. Rangel chastising Chavez in late 2006 for comments, was just the beginning of his attempt to be viewed as HNC. A title that actually does not exist and thus individuals clamoring for it are all less likely to succeed with the targeted audiences. Even with a guaranteed Senior Cabinet position on the horizon should Hilary win the Presidency. Old Guard Representative, Rangel will be just a meaningless name with a huge title serving as a pitbull for those that get out of line. He’s not fading fast, we will see him often but success for him is not possible.

Mantan Award (Community Disservice Award): Cam’ron
The Sultan of Stupidity, the Emperor of Idiocy, the Tycoon of high Cooning, it’s none other than the one and only Cam’ron. Cam’ron doesn’t just do a disservice to the community in general but even in the much smaller community of “ignant” rappers Cam’ron is the high-priest of ignorant shit. Who else could take a very simple phone conversation with 50-Cent into a war of diss records, and 15-minute microwaveable youtube videos. Even 50-Cent remarked that he had to stop going back and forth with Cam’ron because Cam was so ignorant Cam’ron wouldn’t be able to tell whether he was winning or losing. His tour-de-force of stupidity was ultimately his interview on 60-minutes when he took his defense of the “stop-snitching” movement to new lows of absurdity, telling his interviewer that he wouldn’t talk to the police if he new a serial killer was living next door to him. This was at the high points of the corporate media’s very insincere attack on rap music over content and lyrics. Even last year’s co-winner of the Mantan, Russell Simmons, had to give Cam’ron a phone call over his ridiculous “60-Minute” interview. The questioning on “60 Minutes” was a set up that most halfway intelligent people would have seen coming several miles away – but Cam’ron is not most people nor is he halfway intelligent from what we can tell.

Eat and Sleep Award: Lil Wayne
We’re usually on Lil Wayne for being unabashedly conceited and overrated but this year he had to be acknowledged for being something far worse. If Cam’ron could earn himself a Mantan for his 60 minutes interview then certainly Lil Wayne can earn himself a “Eat and Sleep” for the following quote in a rap rag regarding his street authenticity: “If you are talking about rap and beef, I’m the wrong person to talk to. I am from New Orleans. Cut your televisions on. You know where I’m from. I’m from the murder capital, ma. Beef is a different thing there. I have four teardrops on my face and I have to look my mom in her eye every day. I can’t lie to her. phuck what they think and phuck what the world thinks, we real. My mom is real. The first day I got a teardrop I lied. I called her and asked her can I get a teardrop tattoo, but I had already got it.” She said, “When you get it, come by me so I can see how you look with it, cause I was thinking about getting one my phuckin’ self.” “We don’t play. No, I’m not gonna rap about you man, I will murder you, your family, your child, a newborn, I don’t give a phuck. I could never go to hell cause I’ma take over, bytch.”

The Antonio Fargas Award (Pimp Player of the Year): Viacom (VH1, BET, MTV, et al).
Yup, Viacom are the pimps and guess who are the hoes. I mean we expect foolish entertainment fair from BET, VH1, and MTV but the looking for love on national TV shows have to go. Ultimately it’s our fault for continuing to watch this crap but after 2-4 seasons of Flava Flav’s blackface act on “Strange Love” and “Flavor of Love” it’s hard to believe that Ms. New York a.k.a. “The Muppet Lady” is possibly going to be re-upping for a 3RD season of “I Love New York”!! Worse than that many adults believe the show is “real” and that these aren’t a bunch of wanna-be actors and actresses looking for their 7 ½ minutes of fame. People please turn the channel these courting on cable shows like “I Love New York”, “Flava of Love”, etc are about as real as WWE wrestling and less entertaining.

Runner Up: Anucha Browne-Sanders
We know they settled out of court but we’re having a hard time believing Isaiah Thomas was actually trying to have sex with Mrs. Browne-Saunders, not because we think Thomas is some great upstanding guy but because the harassment didn’t seem very sexual and the level of animosity seemed way too high. We do however believe that the Knick’s front office was disrespectful and harassing to Ms. Browne-Saunders and Thomas was verbally abusive on multiple occasions but 11 million dollars worth? For 11 million I think I can do some verbal abuse. In any case though the New York Knick’s management wanted to appeal the court’s 11 million dollar judgment it seems the league commissioner just wanted it to go away so it seems Anucha Browne-Saunders just came up – but hey the Knicks front office is so inept they deserved to be fined 11 million dollars for something.

The Ozzy Osbourne Award (Most Deluded or Strung Out Personality): Britney Spears
We hate to be accused of enjoying someone else’s misfortune. In fact the way Britney Spears life is falling apart is downright sad. But there is something sickly satisfying about knowing “Hollywood” doesn’t just turn famous Black people out, .i.e. Michael Jackson, O.J., etc. It seems Spears has been fighting a very public losing battle with her fame and all that comes with it, over more than the last year. Sure some will say you can’t give “Trailer trash” money but whatever the reason behind it Spears seems like she is living one long nervous breakdown. She shaved her head on the fly, showed some other shaved parts of her body, then got dragged over the coals in the tabloids for appearing and performing on national television relatively out of shape. More important than all the tabloid hate though, is that she is losing custody of her children to a loser like Kevin “K-Fed” Federline. I mean things must really be bad if K-Fed is looking like the perfect embodiment of fatherhood.

Runner Up: Foxy Brown
Despite Foxy Brown’s trashy musical content over the years, we don’t’ think her current predicament is a product of buying into her own hype. We sincerely believe there is something wrong with this girl. Despite repeated warnings and opportunities it seemed ol’ girl was determined to land herself in jail. She almost ran someone over, violated her probation, was late to court hearings due to wardrobe and other cosmetic issues, and lied about being pregnant when it was time to pay the piper. Since then she’s been trying to convince anyone who will listen that she’s learned her lesson and to let her out of jail early. Her anger management issues and erratic behavior are approaching the level of Naomi Campbell but Naomi at least had enough sense to do what she had to do so she only found herself picking up trash on the street not being treated like trash in the pen.

Brotha’/Sista with The High Score: Barrack Obama
We admit we are even a bit stunned at Obama’s viability as a Black candidate for president. It’s a long way from a reality, and even if nominated to represent the Democratic Party in the general election, his taking the White House is hardly a sure thing. However in an America as clearly prejudiced as the one we live in today, we didn’t think he would get this far. This is not like Alan Keyes, Al Sharpton, or Jesse Jackson’s running for president, at this point you have to think that Obama winning is a real possibility. He has galvanized many hopeful and younger voters with his “change” agenda though it’s a little unclear what those “changes” entail. I guess after 8 years of Bush any change would be positive (can you get any worse than the Bush administration?). I guess there is something to be said for Blacks who are not seen as threatening to Whites, i.e. Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, etc. It is a bit constricting though because the minute you do anything or raise any concerns that are ethnically identifiable, most of those same people who you thought had overcome their prejudice will turn on their back on you.

Runner up: Floyd Mayweather
Pound for Pound the best in the world. One can hardly dispute that Mayweather is the best in the game. He started the year off whipping up Zab Judah then knocked off Oscar De La Hoya in a bit of a Yawner. He capped off a great 2007 with a KO of the previously undefeated brawler Ricky Hatton in front of a stadium seemingly full of European hooligans. Better than the boxing though is that Mayweather has stepped up his game outside the ring in terms of promotion and putting fights together. He doesn’t have to worry about Don King or the other crooks of the boxing world ripping him off because guys like him and De La Hoya are starting to cut out the middle men in many case. Mayweather has been on top of the game in boxing for some time, now he is beginning to be at the top of the game in business. That’s one hell of a combination.

Evolution Award: Kimbo Slice
This dude started out as a backyard buckfighter. When you saw him beating on other brothers with his bare hands and knuckles you immediately envisioned slave plantations and the idea that a slave master had put them out there to fight to the death. Now Kimbo Slice is fighting on Pay Per View and choking out former Professional Heavyweight champions like Ray Mercer. He is making 3 times more than what he was making and taking less chances fighting in a controlled environment.

Runner Up: Oprah Winfrey

There was once a time when she was as apolitical as Michael Jordan. She was too “friendly” to have an opinion on anything and pretending that there are no racial differences between her viewers. With wealth approximating 1 Billion dollars she is stepping out of her shell some, openly stumping for Barack Obama over her buddy Hillary Clinton, and even financing a film with a historical Black socialist as the hero. Wow, Oprah done stepped her game up.

Fading Fast Award: 50 Cent
Playahata warned you about this some time ago so 50-Cent can throw all the tantrums he wants but he will never again sell 8 million copies of one album, probably not even 5 million unless he gets Tupac’d. We would be lying if we said we didn’t enjoy seeing him latest album take an ‘L’ to Kanye West’s latest album in their sales war, though that whole situation was trumped up to boost both their album sales. 50-Cent still knows how to make dollars but he will not sell records like he did when he first came out ever again. With all the money and promotion put into his LP failing to go double platinum in a year is a major disappointment. Now if only he would make good on that little retirement promise we would be in business.

Runner Up:Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods may be the best Golf Player in the world, in fact he may be “GOLF” to Madison Avenue but he is increasingly becoming irrelevant to non-Golf fans whose hearts and souls he initially captured. Woods is the most voiceless and invisible celebrity in the history of sports and his successes are becoming increasingly irrelevant to non-golf fans and those who once had an borderline interest in the sport with his arrival. Chalk this up to many different opinions but there is no doubt he lacks charisma and allure. There is only a very small segment of people that follow and celebrate him now. He is young and thus not going anywhere, anytime soon but African Americans no longer even care about his self-proclaimed Caublanasian designation, most now feel “yall can have him”.

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