Rachel Donaire must reject worst coverup since Watergate

Rachel Donaire must reject worst coverup since Watergate
Michael Marley

Let’s say that Urbano Antillon comes up short in his third try for a world title at the Home Depot Center (Showtime) on Saturday night. Anyone out there think the Urbane One will excuse a defeat by saying he had a sore mistletoe going back to New Year’s Eve?

Btw, had it been an MMA event, David Haye could have kicked Wladimir Klitschko with his missle toe.

And, what if, Raging Bull style WBA champ Brandon Rios is dethroned somehow by the underdog? Anyone think rough and tumble “Bam Bam” will blame it on weak ankles?

No, I didn’t think so.

Like most punters, I’ve got a feeling Antillon-Rios will provide some bombs bursting in air on each fighter’s face but what if it’s just a good but not great scrap. On the other foot, coming on the (ouch) heels of Haye-WKlit, a mediocre match would be an upgrade for viewers.

But, hey, who told Haye to use the same podiatrist that Mr. Blister, Shane Mosley did?

For the rest of the year, I hope losing fighters can start citing injuries above the kneecap. Let’s give the lowest extremities a rest if you will.

How about some knee “ouchies” or some of the familiar baseball injury, some groin pulls? Or a fighter can claim bursitis in his shoulder like Sonny Liston did in the first bout against Cassius Clay?

Which reminds me, how come Ray “Windmill” White never had to have Tommy John surgery?

Good to hear about the impending remarriage between Filipino Flash Nonito Donaire and Bob Arum and the crew at Top Rank.

Hear they’re just finalizing the details and one important one is how Filipina Flasher, Nonito’s sexy wife Rachel, will have to dress during fight weeks, at press conferences and at ringside.

If you recall a peeved Mr. Arum got on his trumpet and accused Mrs. Donaire of dressing like a strumpet.

Arum was not a happy camper when he learned the Donaires had boarded the Good Ship Golden Boy.
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I’m hearing from fashion mavens that, while Rachel has rejected wearing a burqua, she is considering coming to the boxing events dressed as a nun.

“I’m just worried that such attire might be habit forming,” Rachel told a pal in Manila. “Not to mention that I never cared for the penguin look.”

Nunnery wear or what the round card girls wear?

What say you, red-blooded fight fans?

Do you want to see Mrs. Donaire wearing a frilly frock or some other such coverup?

That would be the worst coverup since Watergate.

Which reminds me, what happened to calling disasters “Suchandsuchgate” and so on?

We can label Haye-Klitschko, for historic purposes, Toegate.

Female fashion at ringside works best when less is more, don’t you think?

Well, at least the Donaire and Top Rank have the experiences of their starter marriage to lean in this promotional rematch.

On the serious side, have you noticed I’ve given both Pacquiao and Mayweather the past few days off?

Don’t want to be a Johnny One Note or a Johnny One Toe, for that matter.

It says here “Bam Bam” don’t surf and “Bam Bam” keeps his crown at the Home Depot
Center.

Would it be sarcastic to opine that Robert Garcia’s mouthy charge wants to “nail” Antillon at Home Depot?

Let’s just hope the fight is a lot more “Hammer Time” than what we saw (or in my case, luckily missed due to a fried cable box, thank you Comcast) in Hamburg last weekend.

Haye-Klitschko wasn’t prime heavyweight beef. It was really liver worst.

Ok, don’t forget to tip your waitresses on the way out.

They perform with sore toes and never explain, never complain.


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